I'd like to say that since signing on for The Boilermaker 15k run, I've trained and eaten perfectly, and now bask in the glory of that. Right now the opposite is true; I am quite content with, even if a little nervous about, my upcoming running challenge but I have not been a perfect guy. Every weekend I've eaten off track to some degree. My weight bounces between 289 and 295 every week, but my pants size seems to be dropping slightly. I strive for better eating. This week I'm being very strict because of the upcoming run, and I hope to stay that way for just a little while, even if only for an extra week or two, because I'm getting tired of this weight and want to drop another 20 pounds or so.
Exercise, while better than ever, is still not quite where I want it to be. I'm doing more at home (mostly recovery stuff and stretching) but not as much as I'd like. I just don't have the energy... I have so many areas of life under heavy burden that I just haven't devoted as much time and energy as my perfectionist mind had hoped for. Also, I was briefly sidelined by a slight pull of my right quadraceps, and had a lesser but similar injury on the opposite side soon after (probably from compensating). However I am learning how to work through that sort of thing, which is a huge positive. I never knew how powerful certain recovery tools (like rolling out, stretching, liniments, and the like) can be. I'm not 100% but I'm close to it.
Recovery tools and a basic daily regimen of warming up the body, with a little groove-greasing each day, are gonna be essential from now on. The harder I work the more recovery I need. After Sunday's run I will need to remind myself that proper movement and eating will help me get back to business quickly, and I await the amazement when I hit a WOD soon after the run, but this week I just want to work hard and avoid injury. It's like I want to avoid the box altogether on the one hand, fearing that dreaded muscle pull or ligament strain, but am so pumped to work out on the other hand. I also have to ask John & Cheryl, my CrossFit trainers, for some guidance about how to do things in these last days. I plan to eat as strictly as physically possible and get plenty of sleep, for one thing. My last run is tomorrow (Wednesday), with evening WODs today, tomorrow, and maybe Thursday, going very light on Friday and just stretching Saturday.
As for the day itself, I would be lying if I didn't admit to something. I've said it regularly lately: I'm looking to cross the finish line with a heartbeat. I am afraid of having a heart attack or something. I am dealing with this well enough, but I still fear. It grips me on and off. Last week I was supposed to do hanging knees-to-elbows and whatever version of them I did made my chest feel crappy, and now I won't do them. Stuff like that scares me. It was pointed out to me that it doesn't mean I should do them less, it means I should do them more. Perhaps, but maybe after the race and recovery... I have enough fear to carry and toss aside for now.
Still, my overall attitude is positive and I stand on that. I admit my fear so it won't become bigger than it is, then I move on, because at some point in the last few weeks I began to believe that I can run The Boilermaker and finish within the three hour limit. I can't say for sure what the emotions will be like between now and then, but I know I can do it. I've received a lot of encouragement over the last few days--encouragement I desperately need--and I am looking forward to to the victory. I hope to harness that as much as possible during the race. No matter what comes along in the journey, I will put one foot in front of the other until I cross the finish line.
I think weight loss is my next fitness goal. I don't want to pay too much attention to the scale, and people's comments (plus my shrinking pants size) tell me my body is changing, but I'd like to focus on fat for a brief spell. It will be good for my psyche to drop a few pounds. Honestly, I think the course for that is obvious now: get strict and maintain discipline. If I can do four or five WODs a week plus two to three running days, keeping the eating tight, for four weeks I think amazing things might happen. Add to that a daily maintenance and recovery regimen as I previously described, and who knows how fast all things might progress? I want to give myself room here because I have so much "life" to deal with as well, but it's all good! Perfection is impossible; excellence is a goal worth striving for.
So as I said earlier, I wish I could report that since I sterted this I've eaten strictly every day, warmed up and stretched every morning and night, greased the groove every few hours with something, hit every WOD and scheduled run, gotten to bed at a decent hour every night, and have still managed to get my work and life things accomplished. Instead it's a mess! But three things are definitely true: 1) I've done very well with this so far, 2) I've learned a lot and am applying it, and 3) I'm gonna be fine on race day. Amen. I press on.
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