I pulled or strained quad muscles in both legs over the last few days. It sucks. I thought I had seen my way past it but today, tromping down the stairs, I could really feel it limiting my movement. I practically had to hold myself up with my arms the whole way down. Ugh.
I am trying to cope. I've felt a little negative overall for weeks now, at least on and off. All this stuff--Boilermaker, work, etc.--is weighing on me, I think. I managed not to totally go off the deep end yesterday but I didn't get much done, either. I am struggling to get going. My writing work can get to me sometimes. I do it so well and get paid so well for it, but it takes a toll on me. Basic productivity has been hard to achieve lately. I know if I can tackle my writing, other things will look brighter soon.
My ideal version of how the past several weeks could have gone is nowhere near the real thing. I can't honestly say how I feel about it because it changes so often. I've got to accept reality and move on, but sometimes I wish I could go back in time. There's been little tracking of training or my menu. Maybe I can begin that again but I am so overwhelmed with more important things. My heavy workload and other life things take precedence over CrossFit and the Boilermaker, in the sense that I can so easily let those things dominate my life and my thinking. One thing about me--I have trouble putting my eggs into more than one basket, so to speak. Part of my growth process is learning how to do that better, because daily life depends on it, but it's a weak area for me. I have to stay sober and keep God first in my life, I have to be a husband and father, I have to grow my business, I have people in my life that need me in other ways, and I have to put extra work into my health and fitness.
CrossFit and the supporting lifestyle are such a big part of the whole, and I cannot afford to let it fall by the wayside, but I also have to remember that it's not the sun around which my world revolves. It cannot be. I have hit the reset button. Nevertheless I went to CrossFit last night to pick up my wife. I can't avoid the place, lest I let myself fall away, even though I didn't want to show my face (for no good reason!). I know it's good to show up, even at the end. I saw a WOD on the wall (Chelsea) and I wanted to take part. That's good for me because it keeps me motivated. Tonight I might show up to work out. If someone in the know tells me it's a bad idea, I might just warm up and stretch. If the writing is too heavy, I might just show up at the end. I don't know.
I wish this were easier. This balancing act can get to me sometimes. On days like yesterday, I hate it. Today I'm recovering. I hope tomorrow is better. Either way, I press on.
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