What a huge blessing it is to have coaches who care and know what they're doing. John and Cheryl at CrossFit make this so much easier and I desire to support them in every way possible. If you go to CrossFit Ascend in Rome, NY and you're not happy with your results, ask them what to do. Then do your best version of it. If necessary, once you've dialed it in better, work up to their version... but their version will usually win in the end, and after doing it for two months you won't regret it. At least I haven't.
The WOD today was brutal but I am happy to have done it. I did not think a WOD would shake me to the core just hearing what it was gonna be: a run (200+ meters down a street), with 30 box jumps and 30 wall balls. Five rounds for time. Five? I figured it'd be three. I think a lot of people wished it was three. For a round or two I was one of them! By the end I could have done another round, I think, but I was glad to finish it in 28:15. I worked hard, avoided rest, maximixed focus... I put myself to work even if for a rep or two, even if it sucked, because that gets me going and shows me where I'm really at. So much of this is mental! I'd pause regularly to resharpen focus. I paced myself as strongly as I could. I got it done and went home satisfied. My recovery since has been outstanding. That's CrossFit with paleo eating for ya.
Today I received guidance on tightening up my eating. I'm down to 17 blocks, watching the fat (no doubling up on it!). My version of dialing it in: I will be cutting back on the carbs a tad each meal (one less block per meal compared to the PRO and FAT). I will do dairy a few times a week but not daily. I will do extra fruit once or twice a week but not daily. I will eat a small piece of chocolate at night but not right before bed. I will do one packet of Splenda with some agave nectar and heavy cream in my morning go-cup of coffee. If necessary I may take a coconut water block after workouts and not count it toward the daily intakes.
The key for me here is the little crutches, toothpicks really, that serve to hold me up. All this fits into the scheme of things, but I can snip away the toothpicks when the time comes. Allow me to explain:
I like dairy. Dairy is a kind of no-no because it promotes body acidity, not alkalinity. I'll have a serving of greek yogurt, a glass of whole milk, and a piece of cheese each week where appropriate (it counts toward blocking, of course). If they don't happen, no big deal... I won't play the game of, "Oh, I forgot I get a glass of milk!" If I have an extra one, no big deal. This will give me more options and help me keep variety fun. But as the weeks progress--or sooner if I am not liking the results--this may drop to the occasional serving (maybe once a week). Eventually it'll be less than occasional. Having three servings of dairy a week isn't much, but it gives me an obvious place to go if I discover that I need to.
I like fruit and it is convenient. Having an extra piece (or two) of fruit each week gives me permission to eat healthy on the go. It widens variety and keeps things fun and fresh. Too much fruit promotes acidity and is sugary to boot, but fruit is very good for you. An extra serving here and there is fine, but as the weeks progress... you get me?
I have grown accustomed to dark chocolate before bed. It's good for me but I probably have too much, and at a bad time. I believe in the health benefits and the yumminess, so I'll have some at night, but not right before I hit the hay. I'm cutting back to a single piece of a certain type I buy (75% cocoa dark chocolate which is a good combo of tastes for me). But as the weeks progress...
Same thing with the coffee. I've learned to enjoy it black or with heavy cream, but I prefer it with a little something. (My morning go-cup, by the way, is 20 ounces or more than three six-ounce cups of coffee.) One packet of Splenda per day won't hurt, and a splash of agave gives it something real for my body. The cream is enjoyable as well. If I want, I can just drop the sweetener, then the agave as I dial in tighter.
And, if all goes well for a while, I won't change much. Maybe this plan will work for several weeks without needing alteration, but I doubt it. The dairy and extra fruit will drop away for sure--they're the first to go after I've dropped 15 pounds or so. No matter what, I know this is healthy eating.
There is so much I do that I've never mentioned such as my use of fat: where and when I do coconut oil, my use of butter, adding olive oil, daily but sparing use of nuts. I guess that's for later. Now it's time to press on...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Tuesday, July 26 - 295.0 ibs. - Back to Work
I'm focusing on weight loss now, which means I'm just tightening things up as much as I can. It's good to have a goal, and when your goal is legitimately nebulous it's pretty cool! I mean, of course it's concrete: I want to hit four to five WODs hard each week with two endurance days, and eat in a way that supports training with maximum weight loss. I'm committing to six weeks of this, with the caveat that more than anything this is a search... a search for a combination of eating and exercise that works for me, with the knowledge that as I grow leaner and stronger and more fit, it will change! This is what I signed on for.
What I meant was that there's no number I have in mind. I'd like to see the high side of 270 but right now I'm focusing on the process, not the product. This morning I had measurements taken and I hit the scale. After my six weeks I'll take new measurements. I'll be weighing myself alot at first, perhaps, dropping to one or two times a week once I feel I've dialed things in. I'm less afraid of the scale but I know I can still remember how to beat myself with it. Nevertheless I want to discover how often I can use it to motivate me, challenge me, and hold me accountable. I'm guessing two to three weigh-ins per week is plenty.
I've been hitting it hard at CrossFit lately, and had some amazing experiences. My potential is beginning to become reality for me, but just as important is my increasingly realistic perspective on what is good and right for me in fitness. I am so seriously interested in this CrossFit thing, and I am equally serious about learning as much as I can so that I can share this gift with others effectively. It's hard to hold back. I don't want to step on anyone's toes in the box--trainer or trainee--but I recognize the need for patience and prudence. I want to be a help, not a hinderance. But most of all I want to learn more, and have the real stuff. One day not too far off I will get my level 1 cert, if only to have exposed myself fully to this thing called CrossFit in a way that can be shared effectively as well as increase my own abilities. One day I hope to be able to tell someone else not what I'm doing, but what I did and why it worked, so that they can do their own version of it, too.
I don't fear WODs anymore. My CrossFit life has become a repeating course of, "I used to hate (insert exercise here) but now I rock it and love it!" I fully expect many techniques to be like this, and I accept that it's hard. I'm beginning to welcome it, even. I remember bolting for the bathroom at the thought of doing five or eight minutes of kettlebell swings, and now I'd do that in a heartbeat. My brain isn't quite ready but it's ready enough. 3... 2... 1... go!
I will be posting regularly but not daily (that's too much) because frankly, the process promotes my growth and helps me understand what's happening to me. Even when I get my new block prescription I don't think I will be journaling online, but I will be sharing my experiences and little things I discover. This is too cool.
So I press on...
What I meant was that there's no number I have in mind. I'd like to see the high side of 270 but right now I'm focusing on the process, not the product. This morning I had measurements taken and I hit the scale. After my six weeks I'll take new measurements. I'll be weighing myself alot at first, perhaps, dropping to one or two times a week once I feel I've dialed things in. I'm less afraid of the scale but I know I can still remember how to beat myself with it. Nevertheless I want to discover how often I can use it to motivate me, challenge me, and hold me accountable. I'm guessing two to three weigh-ins per week is plenty.
I've been hitting it hard at CrossFit lately, and had some amazing experiences. My potential is beginning to become reality for me, but just as important is my increasingly realistic perspective on what is good and right for me in fitness. I am so seriously interested in this CrossFit thing, and I am equally serious about learning as much as I can so that I can share this gift with others effectively. It's hard to hold back. I don't want to step on anyone's toes in the box--trainer or trainee--but I recognize the need for patience and prudence. I want to be a help, not a hinderance. But most of all I want to learn more, and have the real stuff. One day not too far off I will get my level 1 cert, if only to have exposed myself fully to this thing called CrossFit in a way that can be shared effectively as well as increase my own abilities. One day I hope to be able to tell someone else not what I'm doing, but what I did and why it worked, so that they can do their own version of it, too.
I don't fear WODs anymore. My CrossFit life has become a repeating course of, "I used to hate (insert exercise here) but now I rock it and love it!" I fully expect many techniques to be like this, and I accept that it's hard. I'm beginning to welcome it, even. I remember bolting for the bathroom at the thought of doing five or eight minutes of kettlebell swings, and now I'd do that in a heartbeat. My brain isn't quite ready but it's ready enough. 3... 2... 1... go!
I will be posting regularly but not daily (that's too much) because frankly, the process promotes my growth and helps me understand what's happening to me. Even when I get my new block prescription I don't think I will be journaling online, but I will be sharing my experiences and little things I discover. This is too cool.
So I press on...
Monday, July 18, 2011
Monday, July 18 - Recovered?
Ya know, part of this journey for me is learning to play hurt... all the time. Accepting the bumps, bruises, strains and sprains as inevitable stops on the road is still fresh. Within that is also the reality of knowing when you're licked--and for me, not feeling ashamed of it and not feeling beholden to others' opinions of how I handle it.
I'm blessed that within my circle of fitness friends, I have respect and love, and the understanding that comes with that. It's still new to me to be so deeply involved in this little CrossFit community and instead of hearing, "Just get up and move, you're not working hard enough," I am hearing, "Of course you're whipped and have to recover. You just did something huge for yourself and that's part of it all. Welcome to the club, brother!" It makes me shake just thinking about it... maybe I'm not crazy, just learning.
Thursday I helped a friend move an old 28-inch TV, and by "help" I mean I got it and carried it up the narrow stairs to her apartment for her. I tweaked my hip because it was heavy, and because so much of me was still a little weak that other muscles had to compensate. I still did it, though, and I knew I could--my test lift proved it. There's a little bit of me that is self-scolding, but then again I think of a certain truth... I don't do CrossFit and then shirk everyday life's physical challenges, I do CrossFit so I can better tackle everyday life's challenges overall. If I can hit four WODs a week but can't move my friend's TV, what am I doing?
Saturday was the first day I began to feel anything like myself, physically. I can sort of bound up and down the steep staircase in my house again. I try to be careful because I need a few more weeks, truthfully, but my deep question was finally answered: Will I ever recover from this running thing I did? Today is Monday and we have a church leadership dinner, so no CrossFit tonight for Alice and me. But my knees and ankles still ache, so they get another day of rest. I so much want to hit it good tomorrow, to be back for real. Maybe it'll take a while, or maybe I have to continue constantly adjusting my perception of these things.
Tuesday, though, it's for real and I'm glad. I want to be a bit careful but I'm dying to work on some weaknesses I've noticed over the past month or three. I'm dying to feel right again. I can get a sense of what my CrossFit trainer John might have been feeling after his surgery, and may still feel now and again. I want to work. I want "normal" back, pain and all, because it's better and it's not all painful, anyway! Victory is too sweet.
This week I want to get back on the horse with everything. Eating may include some dairy and a bit more fruit than I want, but it's all leading up to next week. By the time August hits I want to be in full swing and training for weight loss, fitness, and my next "whatever." I really want to drop another pile of pounds, and if I can find a groove where I'm losing weight steadily and still growing more powerful, that'd be great! We'll see what happens. For now, I press on.
I'm blessed that within my circle of fitness friends, I have respect and love, and the understanding that comes with that. It's still new to me to be so deeply involved in this little CrossFit community and instead of hearing, "Just get up and move, you're not working hard enough," I am hearing, "Of course you're whipped and have to recover. You just did something huge for yourself and that's part of it all. Welcome to the club, brother!" It makes me shake just thinking about it... maybe I'm not crazy, just learning.
Thursday I helped a friend move an old 28-inch TV, and by "help" I mean I got it and carried it up the narrow stairs to her apartment for her. I tweaked my hip because it was heavy, and because so much of me was still a little weak that other muscles had to compensate. I still did it, though, and I knew I could--my test lift proved it. There's a little bit of me that is self-scolding, but then again I think of a certain truth... I don't do CrossFit and then shirk everyday life's physical challenges, I do CrossFit so I can better tackle everyday life's challenges overall. If I can hit four WODs a week but can't move my friend's TV, what am I doing?
Saturday was the first day I began to feel anything like myself, physically. I can sort of bound up and down the steep staircase in my house again. I try to be careful because I need a few more weeks, truthfully, but my deep question was finally answered: Will I ever recover from this running thing I did? Today is Monday and we have a church leadership dinner, so no CrossFit tonight for Alice and me. But my knees and ankles still ache, so they get another day of rest. I so much want to hit it good tomorrow, to be back for real. Maybe it'll take a while, or maybe I have to continue constantly adjusting my perception of these things.
Tuesday, though, it's for real and I'm glad. I want to be a bit careful but I'm dying to work on some weaknesses I've noticed over the past month or three. I'm dying to feel right again. I can get a sense of what my CrossFit trainer John might have been feeling after his surgery, and may still feel now and again. I want to work. I want "normal" back, pain and all, because it's better and it's not all painful, anyway! Victory is too sweet.
This week I want to get back on the horse with everything. Eating may include some dairy and a bit more fruit than I want, but it's all leading up to next week. By the time August hits I want to be in full swing and training for weight loss, fitness, and my next "whatever." I really want to drop another pile of pounds, and if I can find a groove where I'm losing weight steadily and still growing more powerful, that'd be great! We'll see what happens. For now, I press on.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Wednesday, July 13 - Recovery Sucks
The phrase "learning experience" gets old. It really does. I suppose that depends on the attitude and, honestly, from whom it eminates. And when it is heard. hahaha Wow that sounds so serious and negative! Seriously, though, I am getting over the euphoria of having completed a challenging 15k road run. That was yesterday.
Now I am trying to recover as well as I can, given my life situation and goals. Anyone who has done anything with physical fitness and faced a challenge like this knows that recovery's a bitch. And for me, the bitch is mean and fickle. She won't give me a break.
Of course this isn't 100% new to me. What's new is the guidance I have from Cheryl & John, my pals at CrossFit, whose expertise and experience have educated me almost as much as the personal experience itself has. What I mean is, they tell me what happened, what is happening, and what might happen, and most of it applies and makes sense. For instance, my energy today just wasn't all there. I think my eating has been good, and though my water consumption this morning was relatively low, it was still good because I tend to drink more than I need anyway. Cheryl wasn't surprised at all. Stuff like that is reassuring.
What I really want is to feel right, to walk into the box ready to perform. Right now I don't have it. I think my performance this week shows different, but nevertheless I am ready to be somewhere else. I'm experiencing a combination of being antsy and dragging ass--or rather, my spirit is antsy but the body cannot comply. I've come to accept the weekly or even daily reality of tweaks, bruises, scrapes and other injuries we work with and through, but this is a bit bigger. I trust it will dissipate. Frustration, regardless of origin or validity, is counterproductive. This is, as has been said, a learning experience and this is part of it.
There's so much positive to take hold of, and I cling to it as I amble through the trough. I can't always be sure of what it is at a given moment but it's there. What my kids saw and see, the changes inside me, the paradigm shift... it will be months before I can truly appreciate this stuff.
Lately I have noticed a different sense of respect. Some of it may reflect changes in the way people treat me now, but I suspect that it comes from changes within. I don't fear myself in the box so much. If I think something's bad for me to do, I say so, and rarely is this seriously challenged. I could abuse such a privilege, and in the past that's been my hallmark (ride the reputation ragged!), but not today. I brought what I brought, I bring what I bring. I don't need everyone to think I'm great, or right. I am better at letting things pass through me if they seem unfair or wrong. I seek a powerful combination of self-respect and humility, and it is washing over me. I hope to absorb as much as possible as I grow.
After I recover, however that goes, I am focusing on weight loss. I'd like to drop some more fat. I've sat firmly in the 290s for four months and I'm ready to lose more. I think it's time. It's not that the scale is my master, and in fact it's the opposite. I just need to see new numbers at some point. I don't want to become a fit but heavy guy, I'd like to drop that fat a bit more rapidly. I discussed this with John and my immediate plan is simple: do what I've been doing, but better.
For me this means stricter discipline for a while. I need to eat less and stick with that. I've been cautioned to be careful because I obviously am eating basically right, and am normally bringing all the energy into the box that I need, so why change too much? I need to re-measure myself to make sure I have the right block prescription, then shave carbs a bit. I also need to exercise more care with cheat meals. I'd like to skip cheats for several weeks, with bits here and there so I can still handle eating "normal" food. Exercise will be four to five WODs and two endurance days, running and rowing. Sounds like fun to me. Really!
I am planning a run Saturday. I was hitting six laps in about 20 minutes before, and even then I wondered if I might be capable of more. I want to have my first run be similar, but this time I want to push and see how intense I can stand it, resting only when absolutely needed. John has suggested I do a 5k before October's Copper Wire Run (also 5k) in Camden, and I agree. So how hard can I push in 20 minutes now? After dealing with the Boilermaker, and the hills, and all that... I wonder.
Now I am trying to recover as well as I can, given my life situation and goals. Anyone who has done anything with physical fitness and faced a challenge like this knows that recovery's a bitch. And for me, the bitch is mean and fickle. She won't give me a break.
Of course this isn't 100% new to me. What's new is the guidance I have from Cheryl & John, my pals at CrossFit, whose expertise and experience have educated me almost as much as the personal experience itself has. What I mean is, they tell me what happened, what is happening, and what might happen, and most of it applies and makes sense. For instance, my energy today just wasn't all there. I think my eating has been good, and though my water consumption this morning was relatively low, it was still good because I tend to drink more than I need anyway. Cheryl wasn't surprised at all. Stuff like that is reassuring.
What I really want is to feel right, to walk into the box ready to perform. Right now I don't have it. I think my performance this week shows different, but nevertheless I am ready to be somewhere else. I'm experiencing a combination of being antsy and dragging ass--or rather, my spirit is antsy but the body cannot comply. I've come to accept the weekly or even daily reality of tweaks, bruises, scrapes and other injuries we work with and through, but this is a bit bigger. I trust it will dissipate. Frustration, regardless of origin or validity, is counterproductive. This is, as has been said, a learning experience and this is part of it.
There's so much positive to take hold of, and I cling to it as I amble through the trough. I can't always be sure of what it is at a given moment but it's there. What my kids saw and see, the changes inside me, the paradigm shift... it will be months before I can truly appreciate this stuff.
Lately I have noticed a different sense of respect. Some of it may reflect changes in the way people treat me now, but I suspect that it comes from changes within. I don't fear myself in the box so much. If I think something's bad for me to do, I say so, and rarely is this seriously challenged. I could abuse such a privilege, and in the past that's been my hallmark (ride the reputation ragged!), but not today. I brought what I brought, I bring what I bring. I don't need everyone to think I'm great, or right. I am better at letting things pass through me if they seem unfair or wrong. I seek a powerful combination of self-respect and humility, and it is washing over me. I hope to absorb as much as possible as I grow.
After I recover, however that goes, I am focusing on weight loss. I'd like to drop some more fat. I've sat firmly in the 290s for four months and I'm ready to lose more. I think it's time. It's not that the scale is my master, and in fact it's the opposite. I just need to see new numbers at some point. I don't want to become a fit but heavy guy, I'd like to drop that fat a bit more rapidly. I discussed this with John and my immediate plan is simple: do what I've been doing, but better.
For me this means stricter discipline for a while. I need to eat less and stick with that. I've been cautioned to be careful because I obviously am eating basically right, and am normally bringing all the energy into the box that I need, so why change too much? I need to re-measure myself to make sure I have the right block prescription, then shave carbs a bit. I also need to exercise more care with cheat meals. I'd like to skip cheats for several weeks, with bits here and there so I can still handle eating "normal" food. Exercise will be four to five WODs and two endurance days, running and rowing. Sounds like fun to me. Really!
I am planning a run Saturday. I was hitting six laps in about 20 minutes before, and even then I wondered if I might be capable of more. I want to have my first run be similar, but this time I want to push and see how intense I can stand it, resting only when absolutely needed. John has suggested I do a 5k before October's Copper Wire Run (also 5k) in Camden, and I agree. So how hard can I push in 20 minutes now? After dealing with the Boilermaker, and the hills, and all that... I wonder.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Boilermaker 2011 notes journal
What a journey! Glad it's over but John suggested I journal a few things. After all, I'm an athlete now and I want to do better.
Mile notes and times from watch splits (not accurate w/official time, which was about 90 seconds faster!)
Night before: I felt good about my eating and activity the day before, but I ate my last meal too late. It made my last big poop before the race come later than I wanted it to be. Dinner was broccoli slaw and turkey with butter and coconut oil. Had chocolate at night before bed, as usual for these days anyway.
Race day: Good breakfast, worked well. 4 scrambled eggs cooked in butter and coconut oil, 3 blocks of mixed berries chopped in processor, plus extra coconut oil raw. Drank a whole coconut water before hitting Utica. Ate 2 gels (45 min before, 15 min before start).
Overall: use pure coconut water next time, drink sparingly but more regularly. Take water in small doses from the water stations if necessary, or to wash gel down. Be careful! Also, carry four or five gels; try to eat one every half hour and I’ll still have an extra or two if needed.
Mile notes and times from watch splits (not accurate w/official time, which was about 90 seconds faster!)
M1 13:21
Hard to stay motivated (great crowd though) but I ran alright. It was my second best mile time even with the slight uphill start. It sucks early on but mentally gets better. Also, with real hills coming up, this is a place to push.
M2 15:06
Still struggling. It was here I got over my fear of coming in later than two hours by accepting the fact that I couldn’t hang… very liberating. Lots of motivation around but I failed to capitalize due to the mental battle. Again, push harder here until the real hills come partway through here, when you turn the corner.
M3 16:04
This is up the golf course hill. Sucks ass. Everyone walks so my pride died here and stayed dead, thank God. It was here I began to believe in myself. Running the flatter spots if possible is good, but walking is probably smart for a while. Somewhere toward the end of here I took gel 1.
M4 16:38
Still climbing but there are spots I can maybe try running next time, if I feel up to it. Fewer people but they were big motivators! I drank too much water too fast and had gas & water issues for a good long while.
M5 13:05
Big relief to cross the 4 mile mark at the top of the hill. This is when I knew it was all but over, a feeling bolstered as I ran downhill with that great view. Here I ran better than anywhere, partly because I was going downhill but also because I was feeling great all-round.
M6 17:09
I had hoped to carry the success of the previous mile but hit a wall. I just got mentally weak as the body started to slow down… Might have been a gel issue. Began having breathing issues that might have been mental. I just couldn’t wrap my head around not needing to heave when breathing. It was like my cardio capacity had vastly outstripped my body at this point. Hills go slight up and down but still, it was hard to run long.
M7 17:34
I should have eaten a gel earlier than this. The lack of shade got a bit hot but not too bad. I was still struggling with the breathing thing on and off… again, might have been mental. Still, I felt great. My legs were starting to tire here but I began to feel up to better running so I made the commitment.
M8 15:11
Breathing stuff still bothersome. Here the runs got better as I went downhill. Lots of great support from the few who stayed—very awesome. Still felt good. Had my legs been better I could have ran much more.
M9 16:59
Had last gel early here. Again, gels earlier! Legs were crapping out big. I could have rocked this if I still had decent calves.
M end 6:21
I jogged as much as possible and tried to sprint the finish—went well enough. Calves were smoked pretty much, though.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Tuesday, July 5 - No Turning Back
I'd like to say that since signing on for The Boilermaker 15k run, I've trained and eaten perfectly, and now bask in the glory of that. Right now the opposite is true; I am quite content with, even if a little nervous about, my upcoming running challenge but I have not been a perfect guy. Every weekend I've eaten off track to some degree. My weight bounces between 289 and 295 every week, but my pants size seems to be dropping slightly. I strive for better eating. This week I'm being very strict because of the upcoming run, and I hope to stay that way for just a little while, even if only for an extra week or two, because I'm getting tired of this weight and want to drop another 20 pounds or so.
Exercise, while better than ever, is still not quite where I want it to be. I'm doing more at home (mostly recovery stuff and stretching) but not as much as I'd like. I just don't have the energy... I have so many areas of life under heavy burden that I just haven't devoted as much time and energy as my perfectionist mind had hoped for. Also, I was briefly sidelined by a slight pull of my right quadraceps, and had a lesser but similar injury on the opposite side soon after (probably from compensating). However I am learning how to work through that sort of thing, which is a huge positive. I never knew how powerful certain recovery tools (like rolling out, stretching, liniments, and the like) can be. I'm not 100% but I'm close to it.
Recovery tools and a basic daily regimen of warming up the body, with a little groove-greasing each day, are gonna be essential from now on. The harder I work the more recovery I need. After Sunday's run I will need to remind myself that proper movement and eating will help me get back to business quickly, and I await the amazement when I hit a WOD soon after the run, but this week I just want to work hard and avoid injury. It's like I want to avoid the box altogether on the one hand, fearing that dreaded muscle pull or ligament strain, but am so pumped to work out on the other hand. I also have to ask John & Cheryl, my CrossFit trainers, for some guidance about how to do things in these last days. I plan to eat as strictly as physically possible and get plenty of sleep, for one thing. My last run is tomorrow (Wednesday), with evening WODs today, tomorrow, and maybe Thursday, going very light on Friday and just stretching Saturday.
As for the day itself, I would be lying if I didn't admit to something. I've said it regularly lately: I'm looking to cross the finish line with a heartbeat. I am afraid of having a heart attack or something. I am dealing with this well enough, but I still fear. It grips me on and off. Last week I was supposed to do hanging knees-to-elbows and whatever version of them I did made my chest feel crappy, and now I won't do them. Stuff like that scares me. It was pointed out to me that it doesn't mean I should do them less, it means I should do them more. Perhaps, but maybe after the race and recovery... I have enough fear to carry and toss aside for now.
Still, my overall attitude is positive and I stand on that. I admit my fear so it won't become bigger than it is, then I move on, because at some point in the last few weeks I began to believe that I can run The Boilermaker and finish within the three hour limit. I can't say for sure what the emotions will be like between now and then, but I know I can do it. I've received a lot of encouragement over the last few days--encouragement I desperately need--and I am looking forward to to the victory. I hope to harness that as much as possible during the race. No matter what comes along in the journey, I will put one foot in front of the other until I cross the finish line.
I think weight loss is my next fitness goal. I don't want to pay too much attention to the scale, and people's comments (plus my shrinking pants size) tell me my body is changing, but I'd like to focus on fat for a brief spell. It will be good for my psyche to drop a few pounds. Honestly, I think the course for that is obvious now: get strict and maintain discipline. If I can do four or five WODs a week plus two to three running days, keeping the eating tight, for four weeks I think amazing things might happen. Add to that a daily maintenance and recovery regimen as I previously described, and who knows how fast all things might progress? I want to give myself room here because I have so much "life" to deal with as well, but it's all good! Perfection is impossible; excellence is a goal worth striving for.
So as I said earlier, I wish I could report that since I sterted this I've eaten strictly every day, warmed up and stretched every morning and night, greased the groove every few hours with something, hit every WOD and scheduled run, gotten to bed at a decent hour every night, and have still managed to get my work and life things accomplished. Instead it's a mess! But three things are definitely true: 1) I've done very well with this so far, 2) I've learned a lot and am applying it, and 3) I'm gonna be fine on race day. Amen. I press on.
Exercise, while better than ever, is still not quite where I want it to be. I'm doing more at home (mostly recovery stuff and stretching) but not as much as I'd like. I just don't have the energy... I have so many areas of life under heavy burden that I just haven't devoted as much time and energy as my perfectionist mind had hoped for. Also, I was briefly sidelined by a slight pull of my right quadraceps, and had a lesser but similar injury on the opposite side soon after (probably from compensating). However I am learning how to work through that sort of thing, which is a huge positive. I never knew how powerful certain recovery tools (like rolling out, stretching, liniments, and the like) can be. I'm not 100% but I'm close to it.
Recovery tools and a basic daily regimen of warming up the body, with a little groove-greasing each day, are gonna be essential from now on. The harder I work the more recovery I need. After Sunday's run I will need to remind myself that proper movement and eating will help me get back to business quickly, and I await the amazement when I hit a WOD soon after the run, but this week I just want to work hard and avoid injury. It's like I want to avoid the box altogether on the one hand, fearing that dreaded muscle pull or ligament strain, but am so pumped to work out on the other hand. I also have to ask John & Cheryl, my CrossFit trainers, for some guidance about how to do things in these last days. I plan to eat as strictly as physically possible and get plenty of sleep, for one thing. My last run is tomorrow (Wednesday), with evening WODs today, tomorrow, and maybe Thursday, going very light on Friday and just stretching Saturday.
As for the day itself, I would be lying if I didn't admit to something. I've said it regularly lately: I'm looking to cross the finish line with a heartbeat. I am afraid of having a heart attack or something. I am dealing with this well enough, but I still fear. It grips me on and off. Last week I was supposed to do hanging knees-to-elbows and whatever version of them I did made my chest feel crappy, and now I won't do them. Stuff like that scares me. It was pointed out to me that it doesn't mean I should do them less, it means I should do them more. Perhaps, but maybe after the race and recovery... I have enough fear to carry and toss aside for now.
Still, my overall attitude is positive and I stand on that. I admit my fear so it won't become bigger than it is, then I move on, because at some point in the last few weeks I began to believe that I can run The Boilermaker and finish within the three hour limit. I can't say for sure what the emotions will be like between now and then, but I know I can do it. I've received a lot of encouragement over the last few days--encouragement I desperately need--and I am looking forward to to the victory. I hope to harness that as much as possible during the race. No matter what comes along in the journey, I will put one foot in front of the other until I cross the finish line.
I think weight loss is my next fitness goal. I don't want to pay too much attention to the scale, and people's comments (plus my shrinking pants size) tell me my body is changing, but I'd like to focus on fat for a brief spell. It will be good for my psyche to drop a few pounds. Honestly, I think the course for that is obvious now: get strict and maintain discipline. If I can do four or five WODs a week plus two to three running days, keeping the eating tight, for four weeks I think amazing things might happen. Add to that a daily maintenance and recovery regimen as I previously described, and who knows how fast all things might progress? I want to give myself room here because I have so much "life" to deal with as well, but it's all good! Perfection is impossible; excellence is a goal worth striving for.
So as I said earlier, I wish I could report that since I sterted this I've eaten strictly every day, warmed up and stretched every morning and night, greased the groove every few hours with something, hit every WOD and scheduled run, gotten to bed at a decent hour every night, and have still managed to get my work and life things accomplished. Instead it's a mess! But three things are definitely true: 1) I've done very well with this so far, 2) I've learned a lot and am applying it, and 3) I'm gonna be fine on race day. Amen. I press on.
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