I pulled or strained quad muscles in both legs over the last few days. It sucks. I thought I had seen my way past it but today, tromping down the stairs, I could really feel it limiting my movement. I practically had to hold myself up with my arms the whole way down. Ugh.
I am trying to cope. I've felt a little negative overall for weeks now, at least on and off. All this stuff--Boilermaker, work, etc.--is weighing on me, I think. I managed not to totally go off the deep end yesterday but I didn't get much done, either. I am struggling to get going. My writing work can get to me sometimes. I do it so well and get paid so well for it, but it takes a toll on me. Basic productivity has been hard to achieve lately. I know if I can tackle my writing, other things will look brighter soon.
My ideal version of how the past several weeks could have gone is nowhere near the real thing. I can't honestly say how I feel about it because it changes so often. I've got to accept reality and move on, but sometimes I wish I could go back in time. There's been little tracking of training or my menu. Maybe I can begin that again but I am so overwhelmed with more important things. My heavy workload and other life things take precedence over CrossFit and the Boilermaker, in the sense that I can so easily let those things dominate my life and my thinking. One thing about me--I have trouble putting my eggs into more than one basket, so to speak. Part of my growth process is learning how to do that better, because daily life depends on it, but it's a weak area for me. I have to stay sober and keep God first in my life, I have to be a husband and father, I have to grow my business, I have people in my life that need me in other ways, and I have to put extra work into my health and fitness.
CrossFit and the supporting lifestyle are such a big part of the whole, and I cannot afford to let it fall by the wayside, but I also have to remember that it's not the sun around which my world revolves. It cannot be. I have hit the reset button. Nevertheless I went to CrossFit last night to pick up my wife. I can't avoid the place, lest I let myself fall away, even though I didn't want to show my face (for no good reason!). I know it's good to show up, even at the end. I saw a WOD on the wall (Chelsea) and I wanted to take part. That's good for me because it keeps me motivated. Tonight I might show up to work out. If someone in the know tells me it's a bad idea, I might just warm up and stretch. If the writing is too heavy, I might just show up at the end. I don't know.
I wish this were easier. This balancing act can get to me sometimes. On days like yesterday, I hate it. Today I'm recovering. I hope tomorrow is better. Either way, I press on.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Wednesday, June 15 - Busting Old Paradigms
It isn't gonna get easier. I have a growing workload, a Bible that gathered more dust last week than it should have, and a lot of training to do. It's all good, though. I am okay! My training is going well, work is fine, and my Bible isn't dusty anymore. No fooling, though... I have a huge task ahead of me so I mention it because it's part of my life, then set the reality aside because I have other things to do right now. I cannot stare at the future. It's too big and too bright.
Today I did Turkish get-ups with a 26 lb kettlebell. Monday I did them with an 18 lb KB for the first time in maybe six months. I think I'll be able to go up to the 35 lb KB soon enough, as my technique is improving along with my confidence, and I'm getting stronger, too. It's exciting because moving my body with authority is not something I'm used to. It's as foreign to me as the idea that I might honestly stay off the scale without feeling guilty and still improve.
These shifts in the way I think are happening regularly enough, and with enough good reinforcement, that they don't freak me out so much anymore. Acceptance is the beginning of the answer to most everything. It's not the end but without it, my efforts bear little fruit. Surrender is also a good word for this, when used properly.
When I get ready to hit a workout it's often a very different experience than I anticipate, but it's always a worthy experience as long as I'm honest with--but not too hard on--myself. Doing 20 sumo dead lifts with a 75 lb Olympic bar, then doing 20 box jumps (even my low ones), four times in a row, that's an experience! I enjoyed it more afterward, but I think I'm able to appreciate it in the middle of the battle as well. When it was over I took a little walk down the hall to cool down. I am so well-hydrated these days that even though I was sweaty from head to toe, I still had to pee... and I weighed in at 293 this morning! A little drink and a walk back to the box, and I was ready for a cash-out. We didn't do one but I could have. I almost grabbed an Ab-mat for self-imposed Tabata sit-ups, Janda-style. I think for today, though, I've done enough. It's nice to be ready, though. That's paleo for ya.
This week I'm trying to track my eating and exercise more thoroughly. It's slow going but if I can get it down by the weekend, I'm good. I don't anticipate setting this aside for several months because I'm pumped, and I will not be deviating from the "plan" until after the Boilermaker, and then only as much as I dare, because if the results keep flowing in like they have been I want God's river to keep flowing! If I keep working and praying, I'll keep receiving, somehow, some way. When tracking there'll be no points, though (paleo points, not Weight Watchers). I won't look at food like that anymore unless I have to.
Also, I'm doing less "Zone blocking," or strictly maintaining measured ratios of macronutrients (fat, carbs, and protein) during every meal, and moving more toward straight paleo diet, which means less carbs. I still measure my food but I eat more or less depending on what my body says, mostly meat and eggs, healthy fats (with some butter), and veggies with no dairy and limited fruit. This is how God made us--to eat when we're hungry in response to what our body needs, feeding it the best available food we can. I'm so happy to be able to do this credibly. The quest for perfection has always hamstrung me; learning to strive for improvement toward excellence, that's much better. It's a weird place to be.
I may spice this blog up a bit over the coming weeks because I find that not only do I have an audience that cares, I would like to post pictures or things like that. We'll see... I have a finite amount of energy and time in a day, so I'm careful as to how I spend it, lest I forget that I have enough for each day.
Today I did Turkish get-ups with a 26 lb kettlebell. Monday I did them with an 18 lb KB for the first time in maybe six months. I think I'll be able to go up to the 35 lb KB soon enough, as my technique is improving along with my confidence, and I'm getting stronger, too. It's exciting because moving my body with authority is not something I'm used to. It's as foreign to me as the idea that I might honestly stay off the scale without feeling guilty and still improve.
These shifts in the way I think are happening regularly enough, and with enough good reinforcement, that they don't freak me out so much anymore. Acceptance is the beginning of the answer to most everything. It's not the end but without it, my efforts bear little fruit. Surrender is also a good word for this, when used properly.
When I get ready to hit a workout it's often a very different experience than I anticipate, but it's always a worthy experience as long as I'm honest with--but not too hard on--myself. Doing 20 sumo dead lifts with a 75 lb Olympic bar, then doing 20 box jumps (even my low ones), four times in a row, that's an experience! I enjoyed it more afterward, but I think I'm able to appreciate it in the middle of the battle as well. When it was over I took a little walk down the hall to cool down. I am so well-hydrated these days that even though I was sweaty from head to toe, I still had to pee... and I weighed in at 293 this morning! A little drink and a walk back to the box, and I was ready for a cash-out. We didn't do one but I could have. I almost grabbed an Ab-mat for self-imposed Tabata sit-ups, Janda-style. I think for today, though, I've done enough. It's nice to be ready, though. That's paleo for ya.
This week I'm trying to track my eating and exercise more thoroughly. It's slow going but if I can get it down by the weekend, I'm good. I don't anticipate setting this aside for several months because I'm pumped, and I will not be deviating from the "plan" until after the Boilermaker, and then only as much as I dare, because if the results keep flowing in like they have been I want God's river to keep flowing! If I keep working and praying, I'll keep receiving, somehow, some way. When tracking there'll be no points, though (paleo points, not Weight Watchers). I won't look at food like that anymore unless I have to.
Also, I'm doing less "Zone blocking," or strictly maintaining measured ratios of macronutrients (fat, carbs, and protein) during every meal, and moving more toward straight paleo diet, which means less carbs. I still measure my food but I eat more or less depending on what my body says, mostly meat and eggs, healthy fats (with some butter), and veggies with no dairy and limited fruit. This is how God made us--to eat when we're hungry in response to what our body needs, feeding it the best available food we can. I'm so happy to be able to do this credibly. The quest for perfection has always hamstrung me; learning to strive for improvement toward excellence, that's much better. It's a weird place to be.
I may spice this blog up a bit over the coming weeks because I find that not only do I have an audience that cares, I would like to post pictures or things like that. We'll see... I have a finite amount of energy and time in a day, so I'm careful as to how I spend it, lest I forget that I have enough for each day.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Sunday, June 12 - Liberation
Thanks, everyone, for letting me know you care. It is great and very motivating to have an audience or, better yet, to have friends who want to take part. And posting regularly is good for me, it seems--people actually read this so I better stick with it! The definition of "regularly" is, of course, fluid.
The Boilermaker is fast approaching and I would rather have waited to sign up. Then I could have simply said, "Oops, oh well, maybe next year!" when it filled up in record time. Instead, I'm one of the lucky 13,000. If I had really wrapped my head around that number, I might have skipped it in favor of a 5k or something.
No worries, though. I'll be at the back of the pack and a good 12,000 people will have crossed the finish line before me, so I'm thinking I won't have much of a crowd to bother me. ;) I have no illusions about what it will probably be like. I'll be going ten miles in what may very well be hot and humid weather. I will need to be well set-up beforehand, well hydrated, and maintain hydration with whatever people hand to me as I plod along.
Besides that, if I hadn't signed up I'd have probably kept slacking off diet-wise and gone nowhere for another few months. I really do want to bust my butt for the Copper Wire Run in October, and give my son Brad (who does cross-country at Camden High) a scare for a few minutes anyway. If I run the Boilermaker and lose a few more pounds in the interim, I might be able to do that. Heck, I might show him and his teammates a thing or two about real fitness.
Through CrossFit I am liberated from traditional training, traditional perspectives on eating, and a scale-centric view. The girl at Fleet Feet fitting me for good running footwear grilled me on training, and I knew what lies to tell--I didn't need to hear anything contrary to what I know is right for this hardcore idiot. I have no intention of training in any way other than what John at CrossFit says to do. Which is to say, I miss dairy!
I'll go into things more as the time goes by. I'll be posting daily menus but not necessarily every day. I'll also post my workouts. It'll be annoyingly time consuming but fun! Expect it at end-of-day, if at all, for that day.
Until then, I press on.
Kev
The Boilermaker is fast approaching and I would rather have waited to sign up. Then I could have simply said, "Oops, oh well, maybe next year!" when it filled up in record time. Instead, I'm one of the lucky 13,000. If I had really wrapped my head around that number, I might have skipped it in favor of a 5k or something.
No worries, though. I'll be at the back of the pack and a good 12,000 people will have crossed the finish line before me, so I'm thinking I won't have much of a crowd to bother me. ;) I have no illusions about what it will probably be like. I'll be going ten miles in what may very well be hot and humid weather. I will need to be well set-up beforehand, well hydrated, and maintain hydration with whatever people hand to me as I plod along.
Besides that, if I hadn't signed up I'd have probably kept slacking off diet-wise and gone nowhere for another few months. I really do want to bust my butt for the Copper Wire Run in October, and give my son Brad (who does cross-country at Camden High) a scare for a few minutes anyway. If I run the Boilermaker and lose a few more pounds in the interim, I might be able to do that. Heck, I might show him and his teammates a thing or two about real fitness.
Through CrossFit I am liberated from traditional training, traditional perspectives on eating, and a scale-centric view. The girl at Fleet Feet fitting me for good running footwear grilled me on training, and I knew what lies to tell--I didn't need to hear anything contrary to what I know is right for this hardcore idiot. I have no intention of training in any way other than what John at CrossFit says to do. Which is to say, I miss dairy!
I'll go into things more as the time goes by. I'll be posting daily menus but not necessarily every day. I'll also post my workouts. It'll be annoyingly time consuming but fun! Expect it at end-of-day, if at all, for that day.
Until then, I press on.
Kev
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